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Heart & Soul: 8 Reads for Valentine’s Month
It’s not all sunshine and roses in these new books about sex, relationships and romance / BY Nathalie Atkinson / February 15th, 2024
The cultural conversation around love and relationships heats up in the Valentine’s and Galentine’s month. Our latest selections for your reading pleasure (double entendre intended) get at the heart of relationships with others and with ourselves – marital, sexual, domestic, polyamorous, even fictional.
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1More The cultural fascination with polyamory (having multiple romantic relationships at once) seems to be everywhere. For the poly curious, answers to many questions can be found in the Brooklyn-based writer’s debut memoir, which chronicles the highs and lows of her happy, open marriage (including parenting two boys and emotional peril) for a thoughtful exploration into how free love can enhance relationships.
The cultural fascination with polyamory (having multiple romantic relationships at once) seems to be everywhere. For the poly curious, answers to many questions can be found in the Brooklyn-based writer’s debut memoir, which chronicles the highs and lows of her happy, open marriage (including parenting two boys and emotional peril) for a thoughtful exploration into how free love can enhance relationships.
2Secret Sex The premise of this anthology edited by the Toronto novelist and journalist is risky fiction, essentially a Canadian version of the saucy 2022 American book Anonymous Sex. Each short, steamy and uncensored erotic imagining was commissioned exclusively for this volume and appears byline-free, which gives leading Canadian authors such as Pasha Malla, Lisa Moore and Drew Hayden Taylor total freedom to explore the facets of desire.
The premise of this anthology edited by the Toronto novelist and journalist is risky fiction, essentially a Canadian version of the saucy 2022 American book Anonymous Sex. Each short, steamy and uncensored erotic imagining was commissioned exclusively for this volume and appears byline-free, which gives leading Canadian authors such as Pasha Malla, Lisa Moore and Drew Hayden Taylor total freedom to explore the facets of desire.
3Splinters The essayist superstar, a professor at Columbia University in New York, has written with breathtaking insight about everything from impostor syndrome and Barbie to her failed sobriety and the end of her marriage. Raw candour about the latter fuels her new memoir (already in its second printing from pre-release pre-orders alone!), which covers divorce, family and motherhood, and “what it means for a woman to be many things at once.” (Feb. 20)
The essayist superstar, a professor at Columbia University in New York, has written with breathtaking insight about everything from impostor syndrome and Barbie to her failed sobriety and the end of her marriage. Raw candour about the latter fuels her new memoir (already in its second printing from pre-release pre-orders alone!), which covers divorce, family and motherhood, and “what it means for a woman to be many things at once.” (Feb. 20)
4The Darcy MythHindsight makes the case that pop-culture crushes like Ross from Friends (jealous, clingy, blocking Rachel’s career goals) are simply jerks who normalized toxic boyfriend behaviour. In her entertaining book, the University of Denver literary scholar likewise argues that far from being a swoon-worthy romantic ideal, cruel and haughty Pride and Prejudice hero Mr. Darcy and other archetypes, such as Simon Basset in Bridgerton and Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl are, in fact, the worst. Romantics might disagree about the Regency dreamboat, but the insightful cynicism makes for a diverting read.
Hindsight makes the case that pop-culture crushes like Ross from Friends (jealous, clingy, blocking Rachel’s career goals) are simply jerks who normalized toxic boyfriend behaviour. In her entertaining book, the University of Denver literary scholar likewise argues that far from being a swoon-worthy romantic ideal, cruel and haughty Pride and Prejudice hero Mr. Darcy and other archetypes, such as Simon Basset in Bridgerton and Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl are, in fact, the worst. Romantics might disagree about the Regency dreamboat, but the insightful cynicism makes for a diverting read.
5Come TogetherSocietal messaging around sex and intimacy can be a minefield these days, making the book’s premise – that an individual’s sexuality isn’t a problem that needs to be solved – refreshing, to say the least. How to keep the embers glowing (and why) is just one facet of partners having happy sex lives, according to the Portland-based sex educator and academic, who probes the stats, science and art of sustaining a long-term sexual connection.
Societal messaging around sex and intimacy can be a minefield these days, making the book’s premise – that an individual’s sexuality isn’t a problem that needs to be solved – refreshing, to say the least. How to keep the embers glowing (and why) is just one facet of partners having happy sex lives, according to the Portland-based sex educator and academic, who probes the stats, science and art of sustaining a long-term sexual connection.
6Remember LoveThe popular artist, activist and Instagram poet who’s been called the “Millennial Oprah” assembles affirming poems and short essays in this guide to resilience and heartbreak (what she calls “tender times”). Like her signature all-caps handwritten posts on her avidly followed Instagram feed, she draws on themes of self-worth and encourages readers to look for stillness and acceptance within themselves to both love and let go.
The popular artist, activist and Instagram poet who’s been called the “Millennial Oprah” assembles affirming poems and short essays in this guide to resilience and heartbreak (what she calls “tender times”). Like her signature all-caps handwritten posts on her avidly followed Instagram feed, she draws on themes of self-worth and encourages readers to look for stillness and acceptance within themselves to both love and let go.
7This American Ex-Wife Like her popular podcast about the state of heterosexual marriage in North America, this unflinching journalistic memoir about leaving an unhappy marriage through divorce is anchored in the Iowa-based writer’s personal experience. But she also brings in interviews and stats that expose the way marriage can be a trap for women, where gender norms and persistent structural inequality beget uncompensated labour and failure to thrive. It’s a thought-provoking manifesto that is above all about the rich possibilities of autonomy, personal fulfillment and joy. (Feb. 20)
Like her popular podcast about the state of heterosexual marriage in North America, this unflinching journalistic memoir about leaving an unhappy marriage through divorce is anchored in the Iowa-based writer’s personal experience. But she also brings in interviews and stats that expose the way marriage can be a trap for women, where gender norms and persistent structural inequality beget uncompensated labour and failure to thrive. It’s a thought-provoking manifesto that is above all about the rich possibilities of autonomy, personal fulfillment and joy. (Feb. 20)
8Better Bed MannersThe levity of this amusing parody, a faux etiquette guide for spouses that was originally published in 1936 and newly reissued by Bodleian Library Publishing, made it a perennial hit for decades. The nostalgic throwback is witty, but also boasts unwittingly useful advice – like how to survive sleep next to a snorer and the nightly routines of a shared bathroom. Civility (and a sense of humour) begins at home.
The levity of this amusing parody, a faux etiquette guide for spouses that was originally published in 1936 and newly reissued by Bodleian Library Publishing, made it a perennial hit for decades. The nostalgic throwback is witty, but also boasts unwittingly useful advice – like how to survive sleep next to a snorer and the nightly routines of a shared bathroom. Civility (and a sense of humour) begins at home.